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Deadbeat Monkey-Dad Justin Bieber Abandons Pet Monkey in Germany, Continues Self-Destructive Cyclone through Europe

The Biebreakdown

By Noisey Staff

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Look at that monkey. Its name is Mally, and it is adorable. What's more, it used to belong to Justin Bieber until last month, when it was confiscated from Bieber at the German border, because Bieber reportedly didn't have the proper paperwork to have a pet monkey. The singer has until May 17th to submit the necessary paperwork to claim the heart-meltingingly cute primate, or it will be given away to a zoo or an animal shelter or wherever else orphaned monkeys go when their celebrity owners don't want them anymore and let them get seized at national borders.

Now The Sun is reporting that Bieber's team has contacted the clinic/monkey jail where Mally was being held and asked that they find a good home for Mally. If this is indeed true, Justin Bieber is a deadbeat dad who never loved her. Or Selena Gomez.OR ANYONE. YEAH-HAHHHHHH (sorry). I think I speak for all of us when I say to Justin Bieber, "C'mon son."

Noisey will continue to report on the well-being of Europe as a continent as Justin Bieber (who now has 38 million Twitter followers) threatens to destroy it by virtue of his very being there.

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