FIRST JOINT ON HERE SOUNDED LIKE SOME SHIT VAMPIRES GET THEY ASS EATEN TO IN THE FUTURE B. THEY COULDA ALSO NAMED THE ALBUM "2056: VAMPIRE ANILINGUS". THIS SHIT IS HOT BECAUSE SIMILAR TO THE SAME FASHION A FOOTBALL PLAYER LISTENS TO WAKA FLOCKA OR SOME SHIT TO GET AMPED TO GO PERMANENTLY INJURE A HUMAN BEING ON THE FIELD OF PLAY, I CAN THROW THIS ON WHILE I'M IN THE SHOWER AND GET AMPED TO GO VERY DEMURELY TOSS A GOTHIC BITCHES SALAD. I DID TWO ASS EATING JOKES IN ONE REVIEW B YOU'RE WELCOME. WHOEVER THE FEMALE VOCALIST IS SHE HAS A VERY "ETHEREAL" VOICE THAT "COMPLEMENTS" THE "INSTRUMENTATION". HAHA JUST KIDDING YOU NIGGAS PROLLY THOUGHT I WAS ABOUT TO BE SERIOUS FOR A SECOND, WELL IF I WAS WHY WOULD I USE SCARE QUOTES? PSH YOU MUST BE NEW TO THE INTERNET LITTLE HOMIE. YO YOU KNOW THOSE BIG PLASTIC MICROPHONES THEY SELL AT THE TOY STORE? THIS IS WHAT THIS SHIT SOUNDS LIKE IT WAS RECORDED WITH. INTO A FAN. A BIG TOY MICROPHONE IN FRONT OF A FAN. BRB I JUST BURNED A COPY OF THIS I'M ABOUT TO GO FINGER MY MACBOOK TO IT.
I GIVE THIS ALBUM 4 PILES OF DUTCH GUTS OUT OF 5. THAT MIGHT BE A POSITIVE REVIEW I'M NOT SURE YET.
STANDOUT TRACK: "INSULIN" CUZ IT REMINDS ME OF WHEN I USED TO PLAY SUPER CONTRA AND THE SOUND/PICTURE WOULD GET ALL FUCKED UP IN THE MIDDLE OF ME FIGHTING THE JUMPING ROBOT THAT SHOT HIS EYEBALL AT YOU.
Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.