Don't let the title fool you. Charli XCX's new video features a lot more than just the scrappy rap stylings of Brooke Candy and her acrylic claws (how does she dial the telephone with those???). The video is a stylish, black-and-white cryfest and features the tears of Josephine Baker, that girl from Laguna Beach and probably The Hills, Ingrid Bergman, Humphrey Bogart, Brittney Spears, Faye Dunaway, Warren Beatty, Jay Z, Honey Boo Boo, Skynet's T-800 model Terminator, Zooey Deschanel, a flaming Carrie (covered in pig blood, naturally), America's sweetheart Emma Stone, and EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAS EVER WEPT.
Despite all that salty eye-pee, this video is pretty badass—a breakup song that pulls the trigger and empties a clip of middle fingers saying, "Nah, I'm not crying. I've just been chopping a bunch of onions for like a really big pot of borscht. Borscht has onions in it, right? Yeah, whatever."
Here's a bunch of crying gifs to get you ready for it. Steal yourself.
Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.