Brian Eno's "Lux" Is Full Of Caucacity In A Mostly Good Way
[Ed. Note: The Kid Mero is a Bronx-based writer and comedian specializing in #KNOWLEDGEDARTS and #COKEDREAMS. Most importantly, he's our new Reviews Editor over at Noisey. He sent us an all-caps email threatening to "GENTLY KARATE CHOP [US] IN THE BREAST" if we changed any part of his reviews, so we'll be running them unedited on a daily basis from here on out.]
THIS DUDE DOES "I'M THINKING ABOUT KILLING MYSELF" SOUNDTRACKS FOR MOVIES PROBABLY RIGHT? LIKE IN EVERY MOVIE WHERE SOMEBODY IS ABOUT TO KILL THEY SELF AND THEY NEED AMBIENT SUICIDE MUSIC THIS IS THE DUDE YOU GOTTA CALL AND BE LIKE "YO LEMME GET SOME SPARSE KEYS AND SPACEY SYNTH SHIT TO REALLY GET THE MESSAGE ACROSS THAT THIS NIGGA BEING PORTRAYED IS THINKING ABOUT KILLING HIS SELF." I WENT TO PICK MY SON UP FROM DAYCARE EARLY ONCE AND THEY WERE PLAYING THIS SHIT AT NAPPY TIME. THIS IS NAPPY TIME HEROIN MUSIC B I CAN'T PROLLY EVEN GET PUSSY TO THIS UNLESS I GO TO ART SCHOOL. YO I'MA PRODUCE A FILM THAT IS JUST A SHOT OF WATER SLOWLY DRIPPING OFF A LEAF ON A DREARY DAY AND THIS IS THE NIGGA THATS GONNA DO THE SOUNDTRACK POW I JUST WON 6 OSCARS BITCH. THIS IS THE TYPE OF MUSIC THAT NIGGAS TALK ABOUT IN JARGON LIKE "THE CREATIVE CHALLENGE OF THESE PIECES IS NOT LOST IN THE FACT THAT THEY ARE NON ABTRUSIVE THEY MERELY ARE JUST THAT, MUSICALITY AND THOUGHT." NAHMEAN THAT'S HOW MY REVIEW WOULD READ IF I NEVER NOT ONCE ENTERED A WOMAN'S VAGINAL CANAL WITH MY PP. LUCKILY FOR YOU I GET PUSSY LIKE RACHEL MADDOW.
I GIVE THIS 4 PILES OF DUTCH GUTS OUT OF 5 BECAUSE BRIAN ENO IS UPON THE ELEMENTS, HE IS THE CONSENTION OF FORWARD THOUGHT IN INSTRUMENTATION AND VIABILITY OF SOUND.
STANDOUT TRACK: YO THIS NIGGA HAD THE CAUCACITY TO GIVE ALL THE JOINTS ON THIS SHIT THE SAME NAME. *SWIFTLY ROUNDHOUSES THIS NIGGA IN THE THORAX*
This Modern Love: We Are Scientists
Do you rate 'BASEketball,' love Hanes v-necks, and dancing to goofy-ass, Prohibition-era jazz? You may be the lady Keith from We Are Scientists has been scouring the planet for.
A Conversation with New York Legend—Photographer Maripol
Photographer/Designer Maripol's styled Madonna, Deborah Harry, and Grace Jones. She talks about her experiences in NY in the early 80s, her new book, plus here's the premiere of her song and video for "Tuesday."
Here's 11 Awesome Things About Petite Meller's Video for "IceBear" ft. Joe Fleisch
Parisian pop princess goes winter wonderland weird.
Here's "Hero"—The Brand New Tune by Diplo, Frank Ocean, and The Clash
We hung out with the boys in Brooklyn about this unlikely collaboration
"Daughter, Daughter" by D/C Will Make You Root for the Supposed Bad Boy
When will parents understand that when they butt into your love life, you're gonna run 100 miles per hour in the other direction?
An Interview With Georgia Nott of BROODS
Gorgia Nott has a lot to be happy about. At 19, the New Zealand musician is half of BROODS, one of the quickest rising duos in electronic pop music at the moment.
Keep Up With Our SXSW 2014 Coverage Here
Hopefully, we don't die.
The Score: Mapping the Music and Style of 'That Thing You Do!'
Sixties chic via the 90s and that one song over and over and over.
We're Premiering Big K.R.I.T.'s "Steps" Documentary & a New Song Feat. Big SANT & Smoke DZA
#weekofKRIT Is Almost Over.
Kanye West and Crustpunk: Together at Last
It's the Leftöver Crack/Kanye mashup you've been waiting for.