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Music

Bonnaroo 2015 by Numbers: Left Sharks, Slayer Porta-Potties, and Memories That Last a Lifetime

Sets of porta-potties spotted with the word “Slayer” written across them: Two.

All photos by the author.

As a giant playground in the middle of a field in rural Tennessee—according to organizers it's the largest camping event in North America—Bonnaroo is generally a place where people go to get away from statistics and just have fun. Partying all night in a pizza costume is way more fun than looking at spreadsheets. That's why you go to Bonnaroo! But as a dutiful journalist, I stayed out until the wee hours of the morning to keep track of these things and get a sense of just how crazy Bonnaroo is.

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Number of musical acts: Over 125

Number of attendees: More than 80,000

Ranking of Bonnaroo population among Tennessee cities: Seventh

Hours the festival remains open daily: 24

Estimated tons of compost generated and composted on site, based on past years: 325

Sets of porta-potties spotted with the word “Slayer” written across them: Two

Surprise Chance the Rapper appearances: At least four

Surprise Ed Helms playing banjo with Mumford and Sons appearances: One

Estimated square footage of the mud puddle created by people dumping out their drinks at the entrance: 200

Unsolicited high fives from strangers: 22

Drinks Madlib told me he'd had backstage at one point: Like five

Birthday hats given to me: One

Shark/Left Shark totems spotted: Five

Times I heard people shouting the word “Bonnaroo” to no one in particular: Five

Rays of sunlight painted on my arm: Eight

Size of group drinking boxed wine out of paper cereal bowls on day four: Six

Bowls of wine consumed by Noisey: One

Price of Molly quoted by roving dealers in the general admission campground: $100/gram

Price of drug test kits quoted by roving dealers in the general admission campground: $25

Price of a slice at Spicy Pie: $7

Lanterns released during Billy Joel: At least seven

Kilts spotted: Six

Sing-alongs to “Trap Queen”: Two

Sing-alongs to “m.A.A.d. City”: Two

Sing-along to “Piano Man”: One, but a really good one

Weddings attended: One, but a really good one

Memories made: Countless!

Kyle Kramer is flying home. He's on Twitter.