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Beef Weekly: Madge VS Elton

By Sam Taylor

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Beefing this week in the latest “my career’s bigger than your career” bitch fight, is microwaved-potato-head national treasure Elton John, versus the Queen of over-staying her welcome, Madonna.

It was already kicking off at this year's Golden Globes, when the two smack-talked each other having both been nominated for Best Song - FYI Madonna won, ZING! But it all started way back in 2004, when Elton used the Q Awards to announce:

"Madonna – best fucking live act? Since when has lip-synching been live? Sorry about that, but I think that everyone who lip-synchs on stage in public when you pay, like, £75 a seat should be shot."

Shots fired! To which Madge's publicist replied:

"Madonna does not lip-synch. Nor does she spend her time trashing other artists."

Passive aggressive shots fired! Now, after a long lull in shit-throwing, the beef has been re-ignited by Elton saying:

Her career is over. Her tour has been a disaster and it couldn't happen to a bigger cunt.

Oooh, saucer of milk please. But calling her a "cunt"? Come on Elton. I feel a bit nasty for even typing it. I suppose Elton has got to the point in his career where he's allowed gives no fucks what anyone else thinks. I mean, would you care if your average day was spent screaming at David Furnish to bring you more Moët, while lolling about in a pile of novelty, diamond encrusted spectacles and wigs weaved from the scalps Russian prisoners? Or if you'd written fucking "Rocket Man"? No you wouldn't. But still, "cunt" Elton? 

But what he does care about, apparently, is being best mates with Lady Gaga.That’s what got Elton lobbing his toys out the pram this time; after Madonna called Gaga’s song "Born This Way" "reductive" because it sounds a lot like Madonna’s "Express Yourself". Which is true. Elton finished by saying:

She looks like a fucking fairground stripper. She's been so horrible to Gaga

Now, I don’t know what kind of fairgrounds he frequents, but I need to go. Cos there aren’t any strippers at the fairgrounds I’ve been to. It’s mostly dudes with rat -tails and faded tattoos, accompanied by dogs in hi-vis jackets, running around pick-pocketing toddlers.

To conclude, either the pop geriatrics need to kiss and make-up, or Elton seriously needs to put more effort into his playground disses in the future. 

Til Next time.Follow Sam on Twitter @SPTSAM

www.samtaylorillustrator.com

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