This week Paris Hilton announced she’s signed with Cash Money records to (finally) record a follow-up to 2006’s immortal Paris. Because it is my job, I snuck into Cash Money headquarters and managed to steal a few documents straight off of Birdman’s desk. You don’t need to know the details because they don’t fucking matter, all you need to know is we now have an EXCLUSIVE list of 51 potential titles for Paris’ new record. You’re welcome, Internet.1 - Paris Hilton 2: Parisian Nights2 - Parisian Nights: Paris Hilton Reloaded3 - I Hit It First4 -Legs: The Album5 - Fuck Man, I Need Attention6 - OK Computer7 - Best of Both Worlds: Miley and Paris8 - Misandry9 - Ms. Andry10 - Have U Seen Tim Dog11 - The A1 Thick & Hearty Burger12 - The Pink Period: Confessions From a Teenaged Wasteland13 - The Next Great Album From Paris Hilton14 - Worm Sandwich15 - Do the Dew16 - Stars are Blind 2: Even Blinder17 - Stars are Blind 2: Electric Boogaloo18 - Stars are Bling19 - Sofia Coppola20 - Sniff My Haris, Pilton21 - Straight From My Larynx, Out of the Hilton22 - Berlin Marriott23 - Spring Break, by Paris Hilton24 - Floppy Naturals25 - One Night in Paris26 - The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do27 - Shitting Directly Into Your Mouth and Other Nursery Rhymes28 - Halo 329 - Friday Thinks With Luke Winkie30 - #ricksolomon31 - The Neutral Milk Suite at the Brand New Paris Hilton32 - Isn’t It Weird That It’s Actually Spelled Doughnut?33 - I’m a Doughnut, You’re a DoughNOT34 - Mandatory Seinfeld Episodes35 - American Express36 - 8.4 Best New Music37 - Body Talk Pt. 4: Fuckboy Season is Over38 - It’s Brittney Bitch39 - Seriously Have You Seen Tim Dog40 - Paris Hilton Is Going To Make You Her Bitch41 - Don’t Look At Me With Your Goddamn Fucking Face42 - Google Search “Paris Hilton Dubstep Diva” 8,090,000 Results43 - The Simple Life: Interns44 - N.R.A. Nicole Richie Annihilation45 - I Just Turned Off Majical Cloudz to Listen to More Taylor Swift46 - The Wackness 247 - If You Have Any Information About Tim Dog Email Me At drew.millard@noisey.com48 - IN THE LAND OF NY’ALOTHA THERE IS ONLY SLEEP, IN THE SLEEPING CITY OF NY’ALOTHA WALK ONLY MAD THINGS, NY’ALOTHA IS A CITY OF OLD, TERRIBLE, UNNUMBERED CRIMES, THE DROWNED GOD’S HEART IS BLACK ICE, AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN EVEN LIGHT MUST DIE, HAVE YOU HAD THE DREAM AGAIN? A BLACK GOAT WITH SEVEN EYES THAT WATCHES FROM THE OUTSIDE? IN THE SUNKEN CITY HE LAYS DREAMING. SHAGG N’GHA H’DAGON SHUGG HRII LW’NAFH CHAUGNAR FAUGN EHYE CHAI RON N’GHFT LI’HEE R’LUH ‘AIOTH49 - The Wackness 350 - Paris Hilton Sings The Ballads of The True West51 - This Is The Last Time I’m Asking If You Have Any Information About Tim Dog Please Email Me at drew.millard@noisey.com Thank ULuke Winkie takes things from his brain and puts them onto the Internet on Twitter here - @luke_winkie
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