One thing about hip-hop, man… it's real. It is a thing that exists. Sometimes hip-hop gets extra real, though, like last week when a dude at a Slim Jesus show decided he wasn't real hip-hop and snatched his microphone, or that one time KRS-One literally tossed PM Dawn off the stage for pretty much the same thing, or anytime, like, Immortal Technique does a thing. But how can you tell when hip-hop is real and when it isn't? How do we root out the scourge of fake hip-hop? Let's rip through rap history for clues. Here are 50 times hip-hop was real. Let's use their example to Bring the Game Back to Its Essence and maybe Kick Off Another Golden Age.
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When kids in the Bronx discovered Kraftwerk
ZULU NATION!
Every time Rakim rapped, and you couldn’t hear him pause to breathe
How!?
Flavor Flav and Chuck D telling us 911 is a joke
Still true.
When Kool Moe Dee smashed a Kangol under his Jeep on the How Ya Like Me Now cover to get at LL
He didn't like it.
Snoop and Dre having nuthin but 40's in the fridge in the "Nuthin But a G Thang" video
Stay strapped at all costs.
Wu-Tang Clan actually turning out to not be anything to fuck with
The motherfuckin' ruckus was brought.
J Dilla's entire life
He lived and breathed it.
That one time Zev Love X from KMD bought a Doctor Doom mask
Hey!
When Kendrick Lamar told us we’re gonna be alright
Puff and J-Lo fleeing the scene of a 1998 nightclub shootout
Don't be fooled by the rocks that she got.
When Omarion and Marques Houston did it for Lil’ Saint
Gone too soon…
When Troy Ave brought New York back
It's still unclear what or where the city was brought back from.
Every time DJ Khaled needs “another one”
We changed a lot too.
Every time Jadakiss told us what color the whip was
"You can't stand Kiss / Coming through the hood in an Aston Vanquish the color of dandruff"
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Every time Young Thug dresses himself, and it go motherfuckin viral
Thug stays dressed, haters stay pressed.
When Lil Flip came thru the garage sale
"Just hit the website and tell em Flip Gates sent you / We furniture and all, but we ain't touchin' dentures."
When 2pac told Yo! MTV Raps he beat up the director of Menace II Society and caught an assault charge
Greatest rap interviewee of all time.
When Ralph McDaniels interviewed the Roc-A-Fella Records camp backstage at Summer Jam 2001, but Jay Z just did sign language
"…"
Nas
Whose world?
Cam’ron resisting a carjacking, getting shot, driving himself to the hospital, and refusing to cooperate with police afterward
Stop snitching.
When Foxy Brown took 32 grams, chopped it in half, doubled it times three, divided the profit by four, subtracted by eight, and added the other two that Mega brought through
Affirmative.
Webbie getting baptized in a barrel on Easter Sunday in a white tee, jeans, bandana, and gold watch
Swerve on em.
The time Lil Kim was gone for a minute but then she came back with "The Jump Off"
East Coast, West Coast, worldwide.
When Boosie’s daughter told y’all her daddy was coming home
She ain't lie!
Every time a sitting President of the United States got mad at Kanye West
Like we always do at this time.
Future
Freebandz, Freebandz.
DMX constantly trying to find his dogs
Wherewerethey, though?
When Lil B met Clams Casino
What you doin'? Bruh, I'm gangsta.
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The time dude nearly died crashing his motorcycle tricking down the highway in Drag-On’s “Spit These Bars” video
Who left the footage in?
Every time Mary J. Blige hits a two-step
Get it, auntie queen.
When Pimp C challenged Atlanta rappers’ dope prices
"Feelings is like booty holes. Anybody can have they own feelings."
When Papoose had the five boroughs in his hands in the “Touch It (Remix)” video
Streets mad delicious.
That one year everyone wore accessory aviation goggles
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The motherfuckin' ruckus was brought.He lived and breathed it.
Hey!"ALL MY LIFE I HAD TO FIGHT!"
Don't be fooled by the rocks that she got.Gone too soon…
It's still unclear what or where the city was brought back from.We changed a lot too."You can't stand Kiss / Coming through the hood in an Aston Vanquish the color of dandruff"Thug stays dressed, haters stay pressed."Just hit the website and tell em Flip Gates sent you / We furniture and all, but we ain't touchin' dentures."Greatest rap interviewee of all time."…"
Whose world?Stop snitching.Affirmative.Swerve on em.East Coast, West Coast, worldwide.She ain't lie!
Like we always do at this time.
Freebandz, Freebandz.Wherewerethey, though?What you doin'? Bruh, I'm gangsta.Who left the footage in?Get it, auntie queen."Feelings is like booty holes. Anybody can have they own feelings."Streets mad delicious.
"To become forever more Excalibur."
Eminem's mom did it first but with a fraction of the #BARZ and finesse.What is the North Pole but a cartel for toys?Craig got the real live shit from front to back. Follow him on Twitter.
